Flash! Friday #38 Story – ‘Directions’

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My response to Flash! Friday’s thirty-eigth prompt (the above picture). Two hundred and fifty words was the limit (with a ten-word leeway). Composed entirely on my phone (harder than it sounds!) and my own self-imposed challenge was to do it all in dialogue, without tags. Not sure how successful this was but, as always, it was good fun.

* * *

Directions (258 words)

‘Jim, dear, I’m afraid we’re lost.’
‘I can see why you might think that, Margaret, but I’m sure we’re on the right path. You see, I recall that distinct set of mulberry bushes a few miles back.’
‘Oh, you and your vague landmarks …’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘I said, “Yes, oh brilliant husband, I’m sure you’re right.”’
‘Excellent. Now wait here. I’m going to purchase some coffee from that there vendor … I say there, my good man! Frightfully sorry, but I wonder if I might trouble you for two cups of Joe?’
‘Comin’ up.’
‘Thank you kindly. Oh, and not to be a further imposition but, since I have you here, might I trouble you with directions to …’
‘Ain’t no tour guide, mister.’
‘I understand that. It’s just … Well, you’re the only person we’ve seen in miles, and I … I can’t bear the thought of admitting to my wife that we’re lost.’
‘Aw’right, fine. Where ya headed?’
‘Heaven, sir.’
‘Heaven!? Mate, you gone about a thousand miles the wrong way; you in Hell.’
‘You’re joking …’
‘Ain’t joking — you think they got coffee this good on the outskirts ofHeaven?’
‘Aha, Jim! I knew you couldn’t be trusted with the map! You can’t even find my erogenous zones! What made me think you could guide us to the afterlife?’
‘Margaret, I … I’m sorry. What should we do? Turn back?’
‘No, Jim. I’m tired. Let’s … Let’s just see what Hell is like, okay?’
‘But Margaret, I …’
‘Don’t fucking argue with me, Mr Navigator Extraordinaire.’

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2 thoughts on “Flash! Friday #38 Story – ‘Directions’

  1. Ha! I love this! Seriously great twist to an age-old tale of ‘navigator wife, driver husband’. Short, sweet and a great hoot. Though when the time comes, I pray that god won’t let me drive to heaven. Can you imagine running out of gas?

    • Haha, thanks! I’m a complete hypocrite for writing this. One of my WIPs is a long satirical short about purgatory stories. Should be a hoot when it’s done.

      Thanks for reading! (And always travel with a drum of spare fuel ;-))

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